Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving!

This week I am excited about Thanksgiving.  Last Thanksgiving we were in Nigeria, but we were so busy getting ready to leave for the States for Nigeria’s elections, we did not do anything different or special, we just kept on working.  Well, this year we get to have Thanksgiving with American friends who are also missionaries in Nigeria!  I am so excited!  It is fun and encouraging to get together with others who are in the same boat as you and not in your home country.  I will miss our family so much, but am thankful for the expanded family God has given us here in Nigeria and the chance to celebrate His goodness, protection, and care as we gather and share stories about what God is doing in our respective home states in Nigeria.

Thursday when you gather with friends and family, remember this does not need to be the only time you display “Thankfulness”.  Something I have tried for years is to display an “attitude of gratitude”.  I know this sounds Oprahish, but it is so true.  Truly being grateful and content in your spirit for all life has for you and the provisions God has given us is a lifestyle.  A simple choice and then a lifestyle, that’s all it takes!

My thought for today is this:  This Thanksgiving START living with an attitude of gratitude.  Start that day out being thankful for the electricity or gas to cook your turkey, the ability to gather as a family, the sister that always annoys you, or the cousin who is too obnoxious for words.  Draw a line in the sand and say, “from this day forward I will live in gratitude”.

Living in a World of Two Homes

Living in a World of Two Homes

I have been puzzling on this the past couple of weeks and I want to share it with you.

How is it that when you have lived most of your life in Minnesota, half of the time in the Pine River area, and half in Brooklyn Park area, besides the cultural differences in just moving from country to city, you feel this is home.  That is how we still feel, that both Pine River and Brooklyn Park are our home.

THEN…. God leads you to move to Nigeria, a people you do not know, a culture you do not know,  so many things you do not know.  We have never had a heart particularly for the Nigerian people, as many missionaries do before they are called to go, they love and relate to their called people group. I have always felt drawn to ANYONE who is hurting and hated the injustices in this World, we knew just the normal things that most Americans know about HIV/AIDS – basic information to us.  A seemingly random match, leaving God out of the picture.

How does God build additional family in your heart?  In about a year, God has implanted the people we work with, the people we serve, and the work here in Nigeria in our hearts so much that when we were back in the  States for Dan’s fathers home-going celebration, although grieving and busy helping Dan’s mom with things and getting some things done, we also missed our Nigerian co-workers and work (although Dan did much work over the phone and internet).

How can it be when you are away from one family you miss the other, and then when you are away from the other family you miss the first?  I finally realized this week while I was teaching a Bible Study on Fruits of the Spirit, that it is the Holy Spirit that has made this change in our hearts.  It is not humanly possible.

Kind of like before I had our second child, I wondered how I could ever love someone as much as I loved our first child.  Then I had that child and I loved him the moment I saw his little, tiny face.  Although the two children are different, you love them the same amount.

It helps me realize that we think this “home” is here on Earth.  God is just preparing us for our next home.  “I’m just a passing through”, words to a song we have sung so many times now makes more sense to me now.  God is preparing us for our next home.

Thought for Today:  Are there opportunities in your life to “build your family”, areas to serve, people to reach out to that you are missing because you are stuck in a mindset that, “my life is full, it’s just how I want it”.  To quote Rick Warren, “It’s not all about you”.  Even though YOU are the one that benefits.

It Should Be So Simple

It Should Be So Simple

Earlier this week I had a day when I was sad, disappointed, over-whelmed, and mad!

The thing that happened was ANOTHER baby was diagnosed HIV+.  This is not a rare occurrence around here unfortunately.  It happens at least 5 times weekly.  You see, Mother to Child Transmission (MTCT) is the number one way new cases of HIV/AIDS are transferred now.  There has been much information and testing, and sensitization, BUT these poor innocents, through no fault of their own, have to deal with this for their whole life, however long that may be (remember 1 in 2 does not make it to the age of 5 in our part of Nigeria).  The mother found out she is Positive as well.  This is typically how we get to test the babies.  After the mother gives birth, she may get or stay sick for a while, THEN they come in to see what the problem is.  After the mother is diagnosed, we test the baby, and the spouse if they will accept being tested.

You see, it makes me sad and angry that women do not have easy access to quality health care.  Treating a HIV+ woman while she is pregnant, and then right after the baby is born, treating the baby reduces the risk of the baby being HIV+ to only 1%.  It makes me angry that this is not a priority in such remote places all over the world.  Such an easy fix, right?

Well, pray with me friends, that during the time we are here, we at GECHAAN can truly help people understand the importance of pre-natal care.  That we can show Jesus, to these hurting families, and disciple true followers of Christ.  If the woman would have been tested while pregnant, her baby had a 99% better chance of not dealing with this for life.

The challenges are so many, but as Dan reminds me frequently, “We can only touch those that God puts in our path”.  You see, friends, when you see so much need and such a different culture, you want to “fix” it all.  We can’t.  I need to remind myself daily, Pray like it depends on God, and work like it depends on us.

I know God has a plan, I need to wait on his time-table and schedule.  Being American, I am not a good waiter!

My point for today is this:

Rather than being overwhelmed, bring it to Your Heavenly Father.  He is the only one who can truly “fix” any situation.

Just “Wow!”

Just “Wow!”

Friends, this week I was once again reminded of how God puts people and circumstances into our lives and how we react to them contributes to our growth as individuals.

I guess what I’m getting at is that the things that God has “planted” deep in our hearts, really without thought on our part is God-given and will be with us throughout our lives.

This is what I was reminded of this week after the second visit of a mom who gave birth to quadruplets in her home with only family to help her, the family decided that she should bring the babies and herself into the Clinic after one of the babies died at about 2 months old because the mother was not able to make enough milk to sustain all 4 babies with her nutritional level (this is typical in our very rural area of Nigeria) the access and availability of care as well as believing that going to a hospital or clinic will be beneficial to you or your baby (or babies in this case).  Also, as it is a poverty-stricken area, the funds for care are prioritized.  Frequently, unless you are VERY sick you don’t visit a medical center for treatment.  Okay that is the background, now on to what God reminded me of!

Back in late 80’s early 90’s I was blessed with a friend named Helen Eveland.  I loved Helen, she was a wonderful servant of God who served in Hawaii as a missionary for many years.  When she retired, she came back to live in the area she grew up in, Backus MN.  Helen had been single and was in her seventies I believe when she finally married another retired missionary.  Well, they spent about 9 months or a yearish working with a hospital with pygmy people in Africa somewhere.  After they returned back to Backus, Helen told us about her trip.  The thing that stood out to me was that a mother had twins at the hospital and one of them died because they only had one blanket.  This broke my young mother’s heart and I thought of the cruel injustice of this.  My children played with blankets, we had easy access to blankets, they were taken for granted in our lives!  Well, I decided I was going to do a blanket drive and send those blankets to the hospital.  I was told that frequently when you mail things to Africa they don’t get to their destination, it was VERY expensive for me to send the blankets that the kind ladies at church and families donated for me to send, but I knew if we prayed they would get there.  So off I sent them…..and waited!

Three years later  receive a letter and a picture from the hospital that I sent the blankets to.  It was a picture of them loading up the boxes.  EVERY single box made it there to the hospital.  They thanked me for the blankets and said they were very welcomed.

Seeing this mother and the three remaining babies reminded me of this similar circumstance that God had placed in my life so long ago!

Friends, there is injustice in this World, but we are not of THIS world.  He has called us to touch those that we can touch, to encourage those we can encourage, to pray with those that need prayer.  Unfortunately, I have not come up with a plan to eliminate slavery, human trafficking, starvation, or extreme poverty and corruption.  But I CAN do something with the people God puts in my path.

My thought for today is this:  What is God putting in your life today that is preparing you for tomorrow?  20 some years ago I definitely did not think I would be living in Africa, personally able to do this work He has called us to.   HHHHHHMMMMM!!!

On Life and Living

On Life and Living

Sorry Friends, my last post was about 7 weeks ago!  During that time we were back in Minnesota for Dan’s father’s Memorial Service.  This time has led me to a lot of reflection as well as busyness over the past weeks and I would like to share some of these thoughts with you.

I was originally going to title this post “On Death and Dying”, but thought that kind of missed the point of today’s little thought.

At the memorial service as family and friends reminisced about my Father in law’s dry, unexpected sense of humor and his hard-working, determined ways I started processing something that I typically think about at memorial services.  “What will people say about me when I’m gone?”.  It is not in the death and the dying but rather in the life and the living.

I have determined that I need to be intentional about how I live life.  If I’m not intentional, life keeps going and I keep running behind, trying to catch up.  If I’m intentional, I can better decide how to positively respond to negative events.  I can pray for grace and strength to not treat people as I would not like to be treated.  I can remember where I am is not necessarily where anyone else is on any given subject or in life.  I need to have the discussions I have been putting off for fear of conflict.  Honestly and in love.  When I am gone, up with my Jesus, what will my legacy be to those I love and do life with?

My point for today is this:  Are you living life intentionally or just letting life pass you by?  What will your legacy be?

The Perils of Perfectionism

The Perils of Perfectionism

This week as I have been teaching a young woman how to measure and cut fabric for our Days For Girls kits an old enemy has tried to rear its ugly head.  What is my nemesis you ask?  Perfectionism. 

As a child, I tried to please everyone.  I like making people happy and it made me feel like I was somehow superior if I didn’t have any flaws or could do things “better” than someone else.

As a young wife, I felt I had to clean the whole house daily after work and look down upon those that couldn’t seem to get themselves together enough to wash their dishes.

One of the biggest regrets I have is that as a mom I did not put my child’s needs first above what others thought or how my children were perceived.  I wanted them to strive for perfection.  Don’t get me wrong, striving for perfection in what we do is not wrong.  I believe we honor our Father if we do everything as unto Him.  However, children learn from who we are, not from what we tell them they should be. If I am worrying about my child not measuring up, they feel my disappointment and unhappiness and think that it is their fault.  Self-esteem plummets because they feel they never can measure up and eventually give up trying.  Who wouldn’t?

Rather than embracing and accepting them for who they were and who I was (flawed human beings) and focusing on their inner-selves, I focused on the external.  I had the misguided thought that anything that seemed less than perfect was not acceptable.

I was raised to have a strong sense of commitment in relationships, and be responsible and reliable in everything I do.  I value hard work and persistence.  Can you tell that I am a first born?

I also felt that the opinions of others were far more important than my own.  I had a heightened sense that the world was watching and judging me all the time.

Thankfully, a gracious God, loving friends, and a wise husband have helped me to see myself and my world in a healthier way.  I am thankful that most days the “P” word is not even an issue.  However, that does not negate the damage that perfectionism can do to relationships.

I found these tips in Psychology Today Magazine to perhaps help others struggling with this very same challenge.

  • Think “People First.” Instead of focusing on making yourself, your children and your world perfect, put your heart into connecting with the people you love.
  • Come out as a human being. Authenticity is a requirement for the pleasure of love, joy, fun and overall happiness. Yes it is messy, but being real and looking foolish will be worth it.
  • Challenge your negative self-talk by turning the volume down rather than trying to shut out all critical thoughts. Try to avoid comparing your efforts to those of others. Be you.
  • Let your children learn to be who they are rather than what would look best. Remember that they need a little hurt and a few bumps in life to become that wonderful person.
  • Have fun and/or be around others who do. Smile authentically; get dirty and let children get dirty – play. Reward yourself for the effort of having fun.
  • Let go of expectations and try to accept people as they are. We are all unique and flawed as human beings. Don’t judge your flaws or those of others. Embrace your essence and see it as all part of being you. Amazing things will happen if you let go.
  • If this list seems daunting, seek professional help. Change will come faster when you have a guide who can help you be yourself with a little less discomfort.
  • Remember it is never too late. Even adult children will benefit from you becoming a more authentic YOU!

My Point for today is this:     But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10