by Tina | Oct 23, 2015 | Devotional
Sorry Friends, my last post was about 7 weeks ago! During that time we were back in Minnesota for Dan’s father’s Memorial Service. This time has led me to a lot of reflection as well as busyness over the past weeks and I would like to share some of these thoughts with you.
I was originally going to title this post “On Death and Dying”, but thought that kind of missed the point of today’s little thought.
At the memorial service as family and friends reminisced about my Father in law’s dry, unexpected sense of humor and his hard-working, determined ways I started processing something that I typically think about at memorial services. “What will people say about me when I’m gone?”. It is not in the death and the dying but rather in the life and the living.
I have determined that I need to be intentional about how I live life. If I’m not intentional, life keeps going and I keep running behind, trying to catch up. If I’m intentional, I can better decide how to positively respond to negative events. I can pray for grace and strength to not treat people as I would not like to be treated. I can remember where I am is not necessarily where anyone else is on any given subject or in life. I need to have the discussions I have been putting off for fear of conflict. Honestly and in love. When I am gone, up with my Jesus, what will my legacy be to those I love and do life with?
My point for today is this: Are you living life intentionally or just letting life pass you by? What will your legacy be?
by Tina | Sep 3, 2015 | Devotional
This week as I have been teaching a young woman how to measure and cut fabric for our Days For Girls kits an old enemy has tried to rear its ugly head. What is my nemesis you ask? Perfectionism.
As a child, I tried to please everyone. I like making people happy and it made me feel like I was somehow superior if I didn’t have any flaws or could do things “better” than someone else.
As a young wife, I felt I had to clean the whole house daily after work and look down upon those that couldn’t seem to get themselves together enough to wash their dishes.
One of the biggest regrets I have is that as a mom I did not put my child’s needs first above what others thought or how my children were perceived. I wanted them to strive for perfection. Don’t get me wrong, striving for perfection in what we do is not wrong. I believe we honor our Father if we do everything as unto Him. However, children learn from who we are, not from what we tell them they should be. If I am worrying about my child not measuring up, they feel my disappointment and unhappiness and think that it is their fault. Self-esteem plummets because they feel they never can measure up and eventually give up trying. Who wouldn’t?
Rather than embracing and accepting them for who they were and who I was (flawed human beings) and focusing on their inner-selves, I focused on the external. I had the misguided thought that anything that seemed less than perfect was not acceptable.
I was raised to have a strong sense of commitment in relationships, and be responsible and reliable in everything I do. I value hard work and persistence. Can you tell that I am a first born?
I also felt that the opinions of others were far more important than my own. I had a heightened sense that the world was watching and judging me all the time.
Thankfully, a gracious God, loving friends, and a wise husband have helped me to see myself and my world in a healthier way. I am thankful that most days the “P” word is not even an issue. However, that does not negate the damage that perfectionism can do to relationships.
I found these tips in Psychology Today Magazine to perhaps help others struggling with this very same challenge.
- Think “People First.” Instead of focusing on making yourself, your children and your world perfect, put your heart into connecting with the people you love.
- Come out as a human being. Authenticity is a requirement for the pleasure of love, joy, fun and overall happiness. Yes it is messy, but being real and looking foolish will be worth it.
- Challenge your negative self-talk by turning the volume down rather than trying to shut out all critical thoughts. Try to avoid comparing your efforts to those of others. Be you.
- Let your children learn to be who they are rather than what would look best. Remember that they need a little hurt and a few bumps in life to become that wonderful person.
- Have fun and/or be around others who do. Smile authentically; get dirty and let children get dirty – play. Reward yourself for the effort of having fun.
- Let go of expectations and try to accept people as they are. We are all unique and flawed as human beings. Don’t judge your flaws or those of others. Embrace your essence and see it as all part of being you. Amazing things will happen if you let go.
- If this list seems daunting, seek professional help. Change will come faster when you have a guide who can help you be yourself with a little less discomfort.
- Remember it is never too late. Even adult children will benefit from you becoming a more authentic YOU!
My Point for today is this: But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10
by Tina | Aug 17, 2015 | Devotional
This week I had a revelation that my life is never, ever, ever going to be the same again.
Here are some things that I will never do again. I will never say, “I’m starving” again. I have seen what starvation looks like and this is not it! I will never say, “Everyone knows about…..” Without books, internet, limited resources in an oral society, this is not true! I will never say, “Do it my way” This past year I have discovered there are many reasons why things are done in this world and there is a way to approach change, if it truly is the best way to go. ) I will never take a hot shower for granted again. I will not waste potable water or take it for granted. Much of this world does not have this option. I will not take a hot drink or a cold drink for granted either. There is nothing more refreshing sometimes! I will not take my family for granted either. The daily funeral processions that go past our house each day tell me that life on this Earth is fleeting and we need to appreciate and love our loved ones while we are here. I will not take access to medical health care (even though I have issues with insurance companies) for granted. If I am sick, there is quality help available. I will always to the best of my ability, try to be a ray of hope in a world that has so little hope in it. I will try, with Jesus help, to not become callous or discouraged about people who are only looking out for what they can get and not for the common good. I will be optimistically, realistically careful. I have realized that there is much hurt in this world and I am not able to “fix it”. I don’t know if you know this or not, but I am a fixer. It is not my job to fix ANYTHING. It is my job to educate, pray, and love like there is no tomorrow and see what answer God has. I must follow where He leads, the job is too big otherwise! I can only help those I come in contact with. If I don’t help wisely, I will not be here to help very long. If you want a good read to help you with this, Read the book, “When Helping Hurts“, we Christians may have good intentions, but our helping can do more damage then good. We must be strategic with the resources that are entrusted to us!
Today my thought for you is this: What experiences in your life have forever changed you to be a better person? How are you using that experience to reach, encourage, help those you come in contact with each day?
by Tina | Aug 7, 2015 | Devotional
I am so sorry I have not blogged for two weeks now. While in Abuja I didn’t have internet, yet so much happened and this week God continued to speak to me this week while studying and teaching the Bible Study I am doing with some Youth on Spiritual Gifts.
This is one of the people I got to spend time with last week in Abuja. Meet Celeste Mergens, founder of Days for Girls. Celeste had a degree in global, sustainable development. She was working with helping a 400 child orphanage in Kenya. She got a call in 2008 from the orphanage asking for more help. With the post-election violence they now had over 1400 orphans and had not had food for two days. Celeste went to bed wrestling with how she could help and advise in this situation. At 2:30 a.m. she awoke — wide awake — with the question pulsing through her mind: “Have you asked what they are doing for feminine hygiene?” She had never thought to ask. Nevertheless, this simple question plagued her. She quickly e-mailed the orphanage directors and asked them this question. The next morning the answer came back, “Nothing”. She e-mailed back asking for further information. The answer came. During menstrual cycles, the girls wait in their room and sit on a piece of cardboard on their bed for three to four days. If they can, they arrange for friends to bring them food and water. She was stunned and searched the internet to see what other countries with similar situations might be doing for this global issue and found nothing. She knew this was a cause she had to take up. Initially, she realized the implications. If a girl misses three to seven days a month while menstruating, that translates to up to two months less schooling per year. As a girl falls farther behind, she often fails or leaves school early. In Africa, one additional year of schooling after age 12 dramatically improves the national economy and opens economic doors and opportunity to women. Education and knowledge continue to be key to a better quality of life for people around the globe. Celeste also knew she could not send money for feminine hygiene products because if there was a need for food or shelter, the girl, her family or the orphanage would choose those things over feminine hygiene products every time. Any person would!
Her first attempt to solve the problem led her to a company that provided disposable feminine pads for $200 for 500 girls for one month. Done. With a trip scheduled, Mergens arrived in Kenya three weeks later to observe results. As wonderful as it was to have pads, she realized that “disposable” in Western countries is possible. In Kenya, the orphanage’s fences were soon lined and stuffed with pads and the pit latrines were quickly clogged. She saw a girl pick up a used pad from the ground and try to clean it to re-use it. Disposable was not the answer! Washable, reusable pads seemed the solution. After trial and error, and listening to the women using the kits, a workable solution was achieved. 26 pad designs later, we have the current pads that are easy to wash, dry quickly, and working all over the world. Girls and women in 86 countries and 6 continents now have a solution and information to take care of themselves and help sustain themselves. What if Celeste would have “taken the easy way out”. What if she would have solicited donations and companies to help those Kenyan orphans and stopped at that? The orphans would have been helped short-term, but God had a different solution for this problem – and Celeste listened.
During our Bible study on Wednesday, one of the girls asked what she could do if she did not have a spiritual gift that she wanted. My answer to her was this, “God gives us each the spiritual gifts that we NEED to have to further His kingdom. You can not teach yourself a particular gift, but you can help develop the gifts you already have. Our job is to listen and obey. God speaks, we listen, life gets messy, helping hurting people is messy, we forge forward listening to His call and His leading. The end result is God is glorified and the church is stronger. This is the power of one person plus God. Things never dreamed possible, are possible!
My thought for you today is this: Do you stop when life gets messy? Who are you depending on? I have to say this again (as I tell myself daily) Pray like it depends on God, and work like it depends on me.
by Tina | Jul 17, 2015 | Devotional
Because we live in a Muslim/Christian nation, today is a national holiday in Nigeria. I thought I would give those that are interested a little peek into what this looks like here in Nigeria.
Ramadan, the ninth month of the Muslim year, during which strict fasting is observed in daylight hours, began on 18 June this year and ends this evening (July 17). Many Muslims try to give up bad habits during Ramadan and some will pray more or read the Koran.
Does Ramadan always start on the same day?
No. Because Ramadan is a lunar month, it begins about 11 days earlier each year.
Why is the month so significant?
Principally because it is the month that Allah revealed the Koran to the last Prophet, Muhammad.
Why do Muslims fast during Ramadan?
The practice is intended to help teach Muslims “self-discipline, self-restraint and generosity”, It’s common to have one meal (known as the suhoor) just before sunrise and another (known as the iftar) directly after sunset.
When does it end?
This year Ramadan will finish this evening of July 17. The month of fasting culminates with the festival of Eid ul-Fitr, which takes place either 29 or 20 days after the beginning of the month. The date is determined by the first confirmed sighting of the new moon. The festivities begin with early morning prayers and breakfast, followed by a day of feasting with friends and family. Many Muslims don their best clothes to celebrate eating their first daylight meal in a month and give thanks to Allah for giving them strength and self-control. Gifts are often exchanged and homes are decorated to mark one of the most important days in the Muslim calendar. But it is also a time of reflection, forgiveness and altruism.
Today as I go about my day, join me in praying that we are lights in their world and that God gives us wisdom as we live side by side in our community.
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