Daddy Issues!

Written by Tina

February 23, 2017

Think of these words, if we truly understand the impact of these words it is life-changing and life-giving.

You’re a good good father
It’s who you are, it’s who you are, it’s who you are
And I’m loved by you
It’s who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am

Let me tell you about a little girl with chubby, rosy cheeks and a shy smile for anyone she did not know well, her name was Tina.  She loved her parents and her sister who was 15 months younger then she was.  When she was four years old her parents divorced and a couple of years later her mother married another man who raised this little girl and her sister as his own.  He was a hard-working, sometimes selfish, sometimes mean man that she knew loved their family.  I, of course, was this little girl and never sure because things were very conditional with his love.  He did the best with what he had and how he had been raised, I know that.

Well this little girl last saw her biological father when she was 7 for a fairly short visit before the family moved to Minnesota from California.  (The picture is my  biological father when he was 5 years old) That was the last time I ever saw or talked to my biological father.  Growing up I wondered why there was no contact from him and why he was raising another woman’s two daughters and didn’t even know me and my sister, Jeanette.  I would make up stories about him in my head and knew some day he would come and be in my life and be proud of me.

When I had young boys I wrote a couple of letters and tracked down a fairly recent address, I also sent pictures of the boys as I thought Robert looked a lot like him and wanted him to know his grandchildren.  No response.

In 2001 the father that raised me the majority of my life died.  I was there holding his hand praying and talking with him when he died.  I thought I was going to die as well.  The hole in my life was large.  We had developed a friendship based on honesty and forgiveness and as time marched on it became a little easier to move on with life.

On September 8, 2014 as Dan and I were packing to leave for Nigeria in a few weeks, my mom was searching obituaries again and found my biological fathers’ obituary.  I found the daughters he raised and sent them a Face Book message that day.  He passed away on August 26 and had his son-in-law trying to find Jeanette and I.  I now have more members to my family and look forward to visiting them some year while we are on furlough.

I know I have really had it pretty good compared to many others when it comes to “daddy issues”.  We all do the best we can with the tools we have.  Addictions and dysfunction make it that much harder.

Let the words of this song sink into you as they express how I relate to my father now.

You’re a good good father
It’s who you are, it’s who you are, it’s who you are
And I’m loved by you
It’s who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am

I truly understand and have a relationship with God.  I AM LOVED, I AM LOVABLE.  It doesn’t matter what I do or who I please or dis-please.  These are the facts. I am loved by Him. THAT’S WHO I AM!

My point for today is this:

If you’re a child of God  out there in this world with daddy issues.  Turn to the only one we can truly count on.  Turn to God.

2 Comments

  1. Jeanne Johnson

    Oh Tina. So touching. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
    • Tina

      Thanks so much, Jeanne, for reading!

      Reply

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